The Tommy Burns Supper (Heriot Watt & Edinburgh University CSC)

Back to Tommy Burns homepage

Details

Started: 1987
Reference: Heriot Watt & Edinburgh University CSC dinner
Ended: 2008
Revival: 2012

Description

The Tommy Burns Supper is the HWEUCSC’s primary annual social evening, and has developed over the years into one of the best-known events on the Celtic social calendar.

Like the far-inferior Rabbie Burns Supper, on which it is loosely based, it has acquired its own set of traditions, which are fiercely guarded by the club (well, bequeathed recklessly from year-to-year).

It has been copied by others (including the official club) but the original is still the best. Much respect to the HWEUCSC.

Supporters club always had a laugh with Tommy at Burns Supper with a difference

Burns, Tommy - Pic

Published Date: 17 May 2008

By RAYMOND ROSS

THE passing of Tommy Burns has seen all of Scottish football mourn the loss of a respected and popular individual, and among those who will say goodbye to a fond friend are the members of the Heriot Watt & Edinburgh University Celtic Supporters Club.

For over 20 years the club hosted the annual Tommy Burns Supper, which became a unique event in Scotland. What started as a joke in 1987 became nothing short of a cultural institution.

What was it all about and how did it begin?

Well, after being noised up in a Cowgate pub by Tory students who had been imbibing heavily at their own (Robert) Burns Supper, a small band of Heriot Watt & Edinburgh University Celtic Supporters Club members had the entirely daft idea of holding a Tommy Burns Supper at Edinburgh University as both a celebration of the flame-haired maestro and a parody of the original Bardic event.

If it was just a joke, Tommy certainly got it. He delivered the punchline by agreeing to attend, sharing the top table with the club’s first honorary president, Brian McClair, Scotsman journalist Anthony Troon and sports writer Hugh Keevins, who was to become a regular fixture.

Such was the demand for tickets the following year, the supper was moved from a downstairs bar in Teviot Row Union up to the grand Banqueting Hall, which became the regular venue, attracting some 250 frantic folk from across and furth of Scotland every year.

The ‘TB Supper’ as it became known was special in many ways. It was the only annual dinner held in honour of a Scottish sportsman; but it was never a sportsman’s dinner per se and it was never an exclusively Celtic affair.

True, many Celtic greats like John Fallon, Jim Craig and Billy McNeill attended, but what attracted the diners was equally the bigger Bill o’ Fare on offer.

Among those who spoke, sang or performed for their supper were the raucous Alexander Sisters, young piping genius Martyn Bennett, film producer Peter Broughan, historian Professor Tom Devine, anarchic comic Bob Doollally, broadcasters Jim Delahunt and Forbes McFall, composer James MacMillan, Sherriff Hugh Matthews QC, singer-songwriters Peter Nardini and Rod Paterson, actors Tony Roper and Elaine C Smith, MPs John McAllion and Brian Wilson, and journalist Tom Shields.

At what other football event could you be regularly treated to poetry – serious, comic and satirical – excerpts from plays, cutting-edge music, thought-provoking speeches and academic excellence?

And in pride of place was Tommy himself who always capped the evening with his stirring rendition of the Weill/Brecht classic (as popularised by Bobby Darin) Mack the Knife.

Tommy only missed three of the suppers, when he was at Reading and at Newcastle, and this year due to his illness.

When he was manager at Kilmarnock, a wee but vociferous squad of Killie fans were welcomed to the occasion, as was journalist and Hibs fan Simon Pia who regularly addressed the TB/Celtic faithful as “our country cousins”. Take the High Road’s Inverdarroch, aka actor and stolid Rangers fan John Stahl, also appeared on the bill in 1997 when he was starring as the great manager himself in The Jock Stein Story at Glasgow’s Pavilion Theatre.

What drew Tommy year after year to what may seem, after all, just an extended joke? It certainly wasn’t egotism or vanity. He wasn’t that kind of man.

Partly, it may have been the charitable side of the affair. Over the 22 years, some £40,000 was raised for charities from the East End of Glasgow to Central and South America. The irony and humour of the occasion certainly appealed to him. But I think, above all, it was the closeness to the Celtic fans which the occasion provided that he valued above all else.

Tommy loved Celtic. And he loved people, whatever their colour, creed or football persuasion.

He was always late, mind you. Always. And throughout the evening he always drank deeply – from his glass of milk.

Tommy Burns rendition of Mack The Knife at the annual Tommy Burns supper

The final Tommy Burns Supper was held in October 2010. Tommy’s wife Rosemary was the guest of honour and a number of his former playing colleagues and great friends also spoke including Pat Bonner, Danny McGrain, Billy Stark, Peter Grant and current manager Tony Mowbray.

A review of all of the Tommy Burns Suppers and photos of the events can be found at http://www.hweucsc.net/tbsupper.php.

Burns, Tommy - Pic

Burns, Tommy - Pic

Burns, Tommy - Pic

Burns, Tommy - Pic

Burns, Tommy - Pic

Happy Times / Wonderful memories………

Source: http://kerrydalestreet.co.uk/topic/8620405/1/?x=50#new

The Tommy Burns Supper is the HWEUCSC’s primary annual social evening, and has developed over the years into one of the best-known events on the Celtic social calendar. Like the far-inferior Rabbie Burns Supper, on which it is loosely based, it has acquired its own set of traditions, which are fiercely guarded by the club (well, bequeathed recklessly from year-to-year).

Many great occasions have humble origins and none come any humbler than the circumstances under which the notion of the Tommy Burns Supper was conceived. Way back in the days when the Flame-Haired Maestro was still gracing the Paradise turf, four of the club’s more ancient stalwarts were enjoying a quiet session in that well known spit and sawdust establishment, Sneaky Pete’s, on Edinburgh’s Cowgate. A mild difference of opinion then occurred with some members of the spoiled student wing of the White Heather Club, fresh from an interpretation of the widely popular, but grossly inferior Rabbie Burns Supper.

2008: The 2008 Supper will be remembered by many for its poignancy since this would be the last for which Tommy could lend his support. Tommy had to withdraw from the event the evening before, and since he was to be accompanied by colleagues from the Celtic squad, we also missed them also. A series of other late call-offs meant that, on paper, we were faced with a rather sparse line-up. In the end, however, there was nothing to fear, as our mercurial Hon Pres Pat Nevin rode to the rescue. A panicky phone call to Pat on the morning of the event allowed him to satisfy one of his lifelong ambitions of being combining the roles of deejay and quiz show host for the evening. This he managed with some aplomb, and a rather bizarre mixture of “name that tune” and “stand-up bingo” had the 200 strong audience enraptured, if not utterly befuddled, for much of the evening.

We were also treated to the excellent stand-up (and Paradise season ticket holder) Quentin Reynolds, and not least to his observations of the bizarre juxtaposition of being born with a name like Quentin in the cultural ambrosia of Airdrie. Fred Shortland, Chief Executive of Casa Alianza, also joined the company, and we were treated to an extended repertoire of feet tapping and stomping tunes from Rantum Scrantum. The 3am bar helped to bring a civilised end to the evening’s proceedings.

We now appreciate in retrospect why Tommy had to withdraw, but yet he still thanked us afterwards for another impressive sum raised for Casa Alianza. We’re sure that he would have been proud that despite any set-back that can be thrown at it, as always, his 22nd Supper still emerged in all its shambolic, amateurish, but strangely endearing and utterly unmissable quality.

It was all too typical of the cultural conflicts faced by Celtic fans, evoking much jibes of a socio-economic class-oriented religio-historical nature, if you know what I mean. Anyway, under such circumstances a cultural gap was bridged (or perhaps it just seemed like a brilliant excuse for a piss-up) when a tired and emotional Tim was heard to say, “Let’s have a Tommy Burns Supper!”. And so they did.

The following is a brief history of the event, from its modest debut in 1987 to its current internationally acclaimed status. It’s been written by those who were there, and whose memories are therefore probably not to be relied on

1987: We kicked off in the Sandwich Bar in Edinburghuniversity’s Teviot Row Union with a capacity crowd of 120 and we were honoured with the presence of the club’s first Honorary President, Brian McClair. Hugh Keevins made the first of what was to become a long series of appearances, and other guests included Tom Shields of the (then) Glasgow Herald and Tony Troon of the Scotsman. The tradition of giving guests breathtakingly frivolous presents was inaugurated when Brian was presented with a Mo Johnston kit (comprising sun tan oil and hair dye, but no track suits!). Rumours then abounded about the poor relations between the two star strikers – did Brian know something we didn’t? TB was given something to be treasured by all, well maybe some, ‘Tic fans – a football autographed by all your favourite Committee members. And Hugh received the first of many bottles of whisky. All in all, a very promising debut.

1988: With its transfer to the altogether more glamorous arena of the Teviot Row Banqueting Hall, greater things were expected of the Supper in its second season – and we weren’t disappointed. Our new capacity of 230 punters turned up to see the return of deadly double act of Tommy and Hugh, and we also had the first appearance of a Lisbon Lion: Jim Craig, who after being introduced by compere Davie Duncan as “That well known dentist Lisbon Lion”, marked the occasion with an epic poem. And we won the Double!

1989: A gasp of disappointment came from the crowd with the late call-off from Tommy. But we were to be more than consoled, in this the “Burns-less Supper” (to quote an eye witness), with the presence of the foot-tappin’ Packie Bonner and the new Honorary President, Danny McGrain. Brian Wilson MP also showed up to give us a little bit of politics and plug his new book, and we had entertainment from Peter Nardini and the Edinburghuniversity folk club with some songs written especially for the occasion.

1990: Impeccably timing itself to occur two days after a 1-0 thrashing of the huns in the Cup, this was the Supper when we sang, “Tommy Twists, Tommy Turns, Tommy Coyne!” The entertainment came from Martin McCardie, quoting from club member Raymond Ross’ The Beautiful Gemme, with folky stuff (and no late challenges) from John Greig and His Friends, and witty intellectual titillation from the delectable Alexander Sisters. As if to mark its expanding appeal towards new horizons, this was the first Supper to be honoured with the presence of Kilmarnock fans.

1991: This was the “Teviot roof burns” Supper. No one knows if it was an act of God or the revenge of the White Heather Club, but somehow the timing of the fire in the Banqueting Hall was fuel to the suspicions of paranoid Tims that the whole world was against them (and further fuelled by elimination from the Cup at the hands of Motherwell). But the day was saved by the wonderful Mrs Leary of the Union with a last minute transfer to the David Hume Tower basement, where ours was the only supper to go ahead at Edinburghuniversity that year. In somewhat more compact surroundings we had Tommy singing Mack The Knife at one end and John Greig an’ his huns (the token tactless folk band hired for the occasion) doing their numbers at the other (away end?). The ravishing Alexander Sisters also returned to give us an action replay.

1992: Happily restored to the newly roofed all-seater Banqueting Hall, was this the best TB Supper yet? The welcome return of Danny McGrain warmed the hearts of all who wanted to wallow in nostalgia and Gordon Marshall found time in his busy hairdressing and goalkeeping schedule to put in a wee surprise appearance. Once Gordon had been persuaded to remove his ‘lovely’ purple jacket so that we could hear what was going on, we settled down to an extensive entertainment programme including the now veteran John Greig, the return of Martin McCardie and more from The Beautiful Gemme, folk singer Rod Paterson and superb “alternative” piper, Martin Bennett. A wee bit of foresight was shown when Tommy was presented with a managerial kit – given that included in this was a book by Ally McLeod, we can deduce that Tommy left this untouched in his desk drawer at Kilmarnock, where it was found by a grateful Alex Totten.

1993: This was when Tony Mowbray began to wonder why he had ever crossed the border. After Tony trying haggis for the first and what we thought then would probably be the last time, and then the whole hall failing to persuade him to give us a number, we had to settle for Gerry ‘Jambo-lover’ Collins’ rendition of the Celtic Song. Tommy promised us that Killie would be promoted and Hugh Keevins promised he would never tip John Brown for Scotland ever again. We were also graced by the presence of Jamesy, alias Tony Roper, who spoke for so long (albeit superbly) that certain people were worried about missing the opportunities offered by a late license in the bar downstairs, but they’d had quite enough anyway.

1994: Tony Mowbray surprised us all by agreeing to go through it all again, and we were all delighted to discover that in the intervening twelve months he had learnt the words to the Celtic Song. He was ably assisted in his rendition by John Collins, and also present were Jim Craig and journalist Kevin McCarra. The evening ended a touch earlier than expected when certain committee members (who will remain anonymous) were caught, along with a couple of accomplices, attempting to remove the portrait of our beloved monarch’s delightful, modest, faithful, non-bigoted husband from the wall of the bar, where they felt it was out of place in a modern University. Vive La Revolution!

1995: Even before it began, the ninth TB supper featured controversy, with committee members in the thick of it. A lengthy (and that’s days, not hours) session in the International Bar on the part of a certain committee member meant that Paul McStay had difficulty confirming his attendance. After a rumoured six answering machine messages, his seat was finally booked at what turned out to be the Supper with the most celebrities yet. Tommy made a triumphant entrance to his first supper as manager, with that old Peters and Lee favourite, Welcome Home, playing in the background. As well as Tommy and Paul, we were graced by the presence of Hon. Pres. Charlie Nicholas, Billy McNeill and his wife (whose pub we had been frequenting during our exile at Hampden), half the cast of Rab C Nesbitt in Tony Roper and Elaine C. Smith, as well as broadcast journalist Terry McGeadie. Tommy promised us that good times were on the way, but asked us to be patient. Tony was very funny, and Elaine turned up too late for dinner, but in time to amuse us all with her speech. Nobody mentioned penalty shoot-outs, but Paul McStay was presented with the erstwhile Paddy’s Day HWEUCSC v EUHSC (Edinburghuniversity Hibs Supporters) trophy, “so that you get to lift at least one trophy this season” – fortunately it turned out to be unnecessary. Elaine got a set of Hoops with “E.C.Smith” replacing the usual sponsor, while Charlie and Billy both got dodgy ties on the condition that they wore them next time they were on TV. Billy did, Charlie didn’t (or at least nobody saw him). Entertainment was provided by Raymond Ross and Martin McCardie, who’ve lost count of the number of times they’ve appeared, and we also had some music. The Supper’s biggest scandal yet resulted in five revellers spending the night as guests of the Lothian and Borders constabulary, after an after-hours visit to well-known tourist attraction and official royal residence, Holyrood Palace. The following week’s Celtic View devoted the whole back page to the Supper, but fortunately didn’t pick up on the post-Supper misbehaviour.

1996: The Tenth Annual TB Supper was marked with free limited-edition enamel badges for all those who attended, as well as tee-shirts, which went on sale after the event and were quickly snapped up by the fashion-conscious Tims present. Guests present this year were Kevin McCarra of the Sunday Times, Peter Grant, Jackie McNamara and the assistant manager of Whitehill Welfare (the Supper took place a couple of weeks after we had met the Midlothian giants in the 3rd round of the Scottish Cup). The position of guest of honour was taken jointly by TB and a certain Mr Tennents Scottish Cup. The even-later-than-usual finish can be attributed to the fact that the conveyor belt of people getting their photos taken with Tommy and the Cup was held up when they reached Peter Grant and stopped for his autograph. Peter felt obliged to chat to each of them for at least five minutes, and while I can vouch for the fact that he is actually a great conversationist and good company at dinner, this did nothing to speed up the autograph-getting process. Raymond Ross and Martin McCardie kept up their appearance record, and we had a poetry recital from club member Andrew McGeever. Patsy Mack and No’ The Full Shillin’ provided the music and the finale was a rendition of The Fields of Athenry, specially in honour of club favourite and serial Jobby-in-a-Box winner Gerry McNee.

1997: No trophies on show, but a guest list of the highest quality ensured a most enjoyable evening for all. A last minute re-arrangement of the schedule was made necessary by the delayed arrival of Tommy, accompanied by Alan Stubbs. They did have a good excuse, though : Tommy had been busy signing ‘Rico Annoni, so we didn’t complain. Other guests included author Tom Campbell, John Colquhoun, and Tom Shields, who brought along his pal Sheriff Hugh Matthews. “A Sheriff?” we thought, “can’t see him being too good”, but when he began his speech by promising that, come the revolution, the Q.C. would be replaced by R.C., we realised that we had found a very worthy guest, and he had us in stitches for the duration of his speech. Also present were High Road’s “Inverdarroch”, John Stahl, and we had poetry from Raymond Ross and Andrew McGeever. Another good ‘find’ turned out to be the band, Inis Eoghain, who had us tapping our feet like never before (or was that the wine?)

1998: As usual, the week leading up to the Supper saw the Committee’s blood pressure reaching a level similar to Andy Goram’s sperm count, with non-confirmed guests necessitating a number of frantic late bookings. In the event, we were treated to four fabulous speeches from Simon Pia (a Hibby who does various literary and playwritey things with a range of organs including Scotland on Sunday, Big Issue and Cencrastus [subscriptions available from Raymond Ross]), Father Steve Gilhooley (of Our Lady’s, Evening News and radio fame), Tom Shields (back again in top form from the Herald) and Hugh Matthews (a return visit from the reassuringly biased Tim Sheriff of the Crown in Glasgow). A liberal dose of thespianism was provided by our very own Raymond Ross and Andrew McGeever, while the music came from Inis Eoghain. Darren Jackson came along with his Al Capone suit to give us his genuine and touching view of his “privilege” to be wearing the Hoops (with a few kind words for Hibs into the bargain), and finally, Tommy came by train from Newcastle to be with us for a twelfth occasion. As the Daily Ranger had helpfully informed us only a week before, Tommy lost his driving licence, although this didn’t stop our mercurial President from phoning him the day before to ask him what time he was driving up at. The phrase “awkward silence” comes to mind. Oh, and Jack McLean made an arse of himself (which you can read about elsewhere).

1999: Well, it was the 13th Supper, so not everything could go to plan could it? Sadly Tommy was unable to attend due to his managerial commitments at Reading. In the end the top table was graced with a variety of guest; teenage protegé Mark Burchill, Pat Nevin, Forbes McFall (Reporting Scotland); and Simon Pia. Young Celtic starlet Mark Burchill told us that he was more nervous speaking to the legendary Tommy Burns Supper than he was playing in front of 60,000 fans. A shocking – if not sadly true – indictment on our great event!

The entertainment was provided by club poets Raymond Ross and Andrew McGeever, comedian Bob Doollally and the excellent band Inis Eoghain for the third successive year. Tom Shields and Hugh Matthews were also invited and chose to heckle from the audience rather than speak this year. The night itself followed the traditional pattern. The underfire President delivered his usual riveting blow-by-blow account of the previous year’s event, shouting down the calls for his impeachment. The ritual humiliation of two non-Scottish club members by making them stand up and read the Celtic Grace provided the usual high level of entertainment.

2000: In the same way that you may remember where you were when JFK or John Lennon died, then you’ll know someone who can say that they went to the infamous “Barnes Supper”. HWEUCSC’s annual event was caught in the eye of the storm of the disintegration of John Barnes’ reign at Celtic Park. The Hoops were top of the league when Barnes arrived as our distinguished guest, but, having survived what must have been the scariest night of his short Celtic career at the TB Supper, JB fell at the next two easier hurdles in the shape of home games at Hearts and Inverness CT. We witnessed the merciless side of John’s reign when he banned any current stars from attending. John made a graceful and memorable speech to guests, but unfortunately his haggis that night was his first and most likely his last. Another excellent guest, ex-Celtic eating-and-drinking legend Mike Galloway, added some sober perspectives on the evening, in particular describing movingly his battle back from a serious car accident. The revered Pat Stanton provided some ex-hoopite Edinburgh perspective, including a joke that has brought the biggest gasps and intake of breaths in the history of the Supper. Legal issues prevent us from repeating it here (but can be purchased from our online shop).

2001: Club captain Tom Boyd brought the Scottish Cup to the Supper, and was accompanied by John McAllion MP and MSP who shared with us some delicious indiscretions about his fellow politicians and their footie allegiances. TV pundit Jim Delahunt – mercifully still free from the Sarah and Julyan afflicted Scotsport SPL – was also superbly tabloidesque in his speech, and Charlie Duddy tempted us with some titbits from the murky world of football agents.

2002: The living Celtic legend Neil Lennon provided some additional flame-haired grace to the Supper along with then novice TV pundit and ‘Tic legend Andy Walker. John Hughes, who was plying his trade at the local green-and-white junior outfit Edinburgh Hibernian, plied us with some Leith inspired humour (without even needing to mention the Proclaimers). Duncan Cameron skilfully dusted off some old decaying jokes which sounded all the funnier after all of that neeps, apple tairt, creamy ice, whisky and wine. Music was provided by the intriguingly named Wicked Wolf, and the evening was superbly rounded off with Hon President Peter Broughan’s self-penned assassination-in-song of a certain Mr Ricksen. Abba would be proud. Fernando wouldn’t.

2003: “Where’s the burds”? Well, any that were remaining after Neil’s Viking-like raid the year before were mesmerised by the Betoothed One, Frank McAvennie. So were the guys. Frank, like Neil the year before, is remembered fondly by those veterans of the Supper as one of the highlights of Supper history. Veteran Supper-ite Simon Pia of the Scotsman provided a Hibernian viewpoint, while Kate Coyle of the Celtic Supporters Association showed TB what singing is all about. Martin Hannan of Scotland on Sunday bolstered the hooped hack input. Music was provided by Quigley’s Point and Peter Broughan treated us to a Tom Jones-like adulatory verse for Lubo Moravcik.

2004: Legend John Fallon added some goalkeeping thrills and spills at the top table (with mercifully few injuries), and despite John’s needless but bloody funny jibes at our green-and-white city neighbours, ever reliable Simon Pia returned with some graceful remarks. Ulrik Laursen provided some much needed strength on the left, and Joe Hill of the Celtic Supporters Trust updated us on the work of an organisation that HWEUCSC has always supported.

2005: This Supper was an excuse to celebrate 21 years of HWEUCSC, and we did it in the cheap tacky style that is widely associated with our name. Party hats, streamers, birthday cake and, er, drink were the order of the evening, as Tommy and Hon President Peter Broughan joined in our celebrations. The special night was marked with a special guest list and fabulous speeches. Ex-Hon Pres Danny McGrain gave us some great stories of his early days working under Jock Stein, and Dr Joe Bradley, author of Celtic Minded (available in all good bookshops) and composer and impressario James MacMillan provided contrasting but excellent contributions. Julie Sheridan, of our chosen 21st anniversary cause, Casa Alianza (which you can read about elsewhere on our website) gave a very touching picture of its work. Entertainment on the stage saw a long-awaited return of John Greig an’ His huns, and HWEUCSC stalwart Raymond Ross performed his exceptional specially-written piece alongside Billy Riddoch and Corrine Harris.

2006: Our 20th Supper gave us another opportunity to bring out the streamers, whiskey and annoying party-popper thingys (but mercifully this year no repeat of the near disastrous “pass the parcel” feature of last year). Professor Tom Devine led the speeches alongside Supper Veteran and Honorary Hibbee deejay Simon Pia. To reflect our humble beginnings all those years ago we had a return visit by a guest of our first Supper, Tom Shields. A great range of tunes was provided by Ewan Wilkinson and Archie MacFarlane. To mourn the passing of the Supper’s teenage years, what better than to recruit the legendary Teenage Fanclub hipster Norman Blake, for the “guitar-in-the-haggis” spot. Another eclectic and drink-sodden cultural experience to mark the start of a third decade of flame-haired mayhem. Raise your glasses, streamers and party hats to another twenty years….!

2007: Paul McQuade awakes from his month-long hangover to provide a hazy recollection of this year’s extravaganza…Our hearts were sore after almost overcoming AC Milan in the San Siro just two nights earlier, but they were soon balmed by this 21st anniversary of flame-haired homage… and the smuggled Buckie no less.

Twenty-one years of jiggerypokery is usually the kind of achievement that someone like Julio Iglesias or Hugh Hefner likes to boast about, but TB is not to be outdone. There he was again at the top table in Teviot, his hair turned a whiter shade of pale (probably the shock of realising HE signed Mike Galloway for the Hoops), taking the acclaim of his beloved supporters wondering (in a Pet Shop Bhoys-styleeee) “Whatdid- I, What-did-I, What-did-I-do to deserve this?” In a remarkable hi-tech step forward for the Supper, there were some slidey things on a big screen to remind him (and us) why he remains so highly regarded by the faithful. And a few digs at Walter Smith (“Great chieftain o’ the second place”) and the SFA for good measure.

The Pale-Haired Genius brought along Paul Hartley who received a warmer welcome on his return to Edinburgh than he might otherwise have expected. Unaccustomed to public-speaking the Beardy One said his words of thanks (and a few wholly unnecessary, yet enjoyable, jabs at our Compere without- Compare) from a seated position, almost a metaphor for his performances in the Hoops to date. Fresh off the plane from Meelan, and still a bit tired and weary from all the license-payer funded excess of it all, was Pat Nevin. The former wing wizard regaled us with tales of how the Celtic support were warmly welcomed by Italian fans and police alike, despite the media-fuelled moral panic beforehand. This year’s Nevin soul-searching didn’t involve Clare Grogan unusually, rather it was about whether to take his kids to support the Hibees against the Celts. He wisely made his excuses and let the wife take them.

A welcome virgin at this year’s Supper was The Herald’s new Chief Sports Writer Hugh MacDonald. Presented with a corduroy jacket in commemoration of his predecessor, hun favourite Graham Spiers, Hugh was both funny and informative – surprisingly impressive given he’s survived as a Tim working in the Scottish media for over three decades. Filling Spiersy’s shoes will be no problem, filling the large dent in the office ceiling where his ego used to be might be. We were entertained throughout the evening with music from Sandy Brechin and Ewan Wilkinson and their variety of traditional and contemporary folk songs. Unfortunately there was no show from Sandy’s former band The Sensational Jimi Shandrix Experience although hope springs eternal for next year. One of the highlights of the night had to be the performance of Pat Abernethy and Dave Marsden from the Isosceles Theatre Group who came all the way from London to re-enact scenes from the renowned play On Our Way to Lisbon. The boys were hilarious – never has the agony of listening to a game on the radio been so well captured – and seemed genuinely moved at the fantastic reception they received.

I’ve had the good fortune to have been at many Suppers since my first in 1989 but one thing that keeps me coming back year after year is the promise of a turn by Peter Broughan. When you see and hear some of the PURE PISH that passes for entertainment in this 21st century it is to my not inconsiderable bafflement that the boy Broughan doesn’t have his own tv show and recording contract. Yet again he provided a rousing finale with hun-baiting of the highest order with classic renditions of Fernando and his ode to Lubo. But, if anything, the goateed one excelled himself this year with a new version of Springtime for Hitler inspired by the huns’ recent rampage through the Holy Land. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE print the lyrics to these masterpieces in the newsletter.